Happy Easter!

And Easter came... so HAPPY EASTER to all... have successful Easter Egg Hunt (or Pomlázka, if you live here in CR) and enjoy finally coming spring!

All best from your Little Squeaker!

Newspeak

Recently I have been thinking about simplifying Czech. This language is really unnecessarily too difficult. I would prefer something like Newspeak. Well, I would take off some words and make declinations and conjugations easier. Why should we keep thinking about it.

I thought it would be a good idea to try this on my parents first. I carefully started to make sure they would understand me. Starting talking too much at once would be difficult for them to get. Therefore I take it step by step.

For example this morning when I woke up (I was surprised to wake up in my bed and not in my parents bed :-) and when I looked around I found out mom was bundled under the blanket but daddy was gone. I started in shy manner. “Daddy not”. Mom lifted her head so I went on “daddy bye”. It took some time until mom understood the meaning and importance of what happened.

When she finally got it (she boots a bit slowly in the morning) she gave me a big smile. “You are right. Daddy went for a walk with Ája…” That was the moment I understood that my newspeak won’t help to make the conversation faster – before a man (or my mom) translates it into old Czech, it would take even more time than regular speech.

I gave mom a few days before I tried it on her again. I know you surely understand much faster than she does in the morning but just to make sure I added also the translation into parenthesis.

Recently I got much into drawing. I sort of terrorize my parents because I make them to draw me a bear, a car, or some other picture to have something to draw over. Drawing on a white paper sheet is boring. Sometimes I need some other assistance and I must admit that mom got this part of my newspeak pretty quickly. “Pen down” (Mommy, my pencil fell down, you should probably get it back for me, what do you think?)

Other small talk we had was in favor of Ája. Mommy started closing a gate on the stairways to protect me from walking steps up and down on my own. “Pat, pat Ája” (Look, Ája is coming on the stairs. Somebody should go and open the gate for her, should he not?” I said and gave mom a significant look. Mom got it quite fast although she was a bit faster with the pencils.

Most of my conversation with parents goes on in the same way. I use simple connections they are supposed to understand and usually I also use the same words.
„Birdie not, birdie bye“(I want to see some birds, why do they keep flying away?).
„Bounce“ (Hi hi, mom has dropped something again, may be it is broken – what fun!).
„Pat, pat“ (Mommy, why do you think I have two legs… you don’t believe I will let you tie my into the stroller when I want to walk, do you? I don’t care much that you are in a hurry. )

Daddy tries to take an advantage of my conversation skills development and keeps teaching me words such as “please”, “thank you” etc. He uses the technique of “cuckoo words”. He keeps repeating words I know “grandpa”, “grandma”, “Ája”, “mommy” etc. and tries to insert among them for example “please”. I like playing this game with him. All I have to do is to be careful and not let him confuse me. When he says “please” I say “grandpa” instead. We try it a few times and that daddy ends the game – I win.

The only thing I am not sure much about is that my parents will ever learn to simplify the language as well as I do.

White February

It is a beginning of February and outside there is still much snow. Actually snow is really everywhere – mainly on the sidewalks and roads. Mommy is not very happy about it, because it is quite impossible to take my pram outside because there is not enough space on the sidewalks. Therefore we go outside only for shorter walks – as far as I can walk myself.

I on the other side quite enjoy snow. It is white, it is cold and sometimes it is bad like me :-) because it gets in my gloves and shoes. I love to puddle in it and it is very good material for throwing on Ája… and to fall into it.

My daddy likes this weather too I guess. It woke ancient building passions in him. He built large snow house and tunnel on our garden. The house looks really impressive but I am not sure with the statics. After all daddy is mainly a computer specialist and programmer – not a builder and architect. It took some time until I talked myself into entering the house. Daddy had to go with me, to ensure me he trusts the construction. At least if the house collapsed, he would get buried with snow with me :-)

Lecithin

From time to time everybody forgets something. My daddy for example used to be an expert on forgetting his ID documents. He left home by car, hit the road and two or three kilometers later he called mommy to get his wallet with all ID cards and bring it down to the garage that he is on the way back to pick it up :-). Mommy usually had some witty comment and finally she made a note which she stuck on the door saying “Don’t forget your wallet!” It worked because since than it hardly ever happens again.

Unfortunately when mommy forgets, it has much more fatal results. For example yesterday. Every evening when mom prepares dinner she lets Ája out to get some fresh air. Ája takes a few rounds around the garden and than hurries home for her dinner. But yesterday mom forgot Ája was still outside and she left my furry sister in the cold evening in the garden. Ája likes to be outside alone but not like that I guess.

And what is worse, Ája is not the only victim of my mom’s sclerosis. Last week mom and I went out for shopping. We were supposed to meet daddy by the store so we were in a bit of hurry. About five minutes after we left home mom started to examine me closely. Usually I keep stomping and clapping and try to jump in every water puddle I meet but for this I need good shoes. This time I had my home shoes on. Mom took me in her arms and we went back home. I was not happy – I wanted to walk – but mom was stronger.

When she gave me winter shoes we left again. Of course we came late to the store and poor daddy had to be very cold waiting for us.

Mom should start working on her memory. She should have asked Ježíšek to bring her some Lecithin instead of the pepper mill she got for Christmas. Next year I will ask him myself.

When Ježíšek came to visit

Yesterday I woke up into an interesting day. It all looked as usual until afternoon. Mommy packed me into a lot of clothes and sent me and daddy for a walk. We went to see my grandparents. There I also met my uncle and his family.

We came back just on time for the dinner. I got dressed into a shirt and pants and it all was so festive.

When we finished the dinner I heard something strange – I was like a bell. That woke my interest and I had to check it up. I went to the living room. I entered the room carefully – you never know – and I was really surprised. There was a tree full of nice decorations and lights. Underneath there were a lot of packages. The bells must have been from Ježíšek. I almost saw him. Next time I must be faster.

I checked the tree and the presents. There were also many presents for my parents. Ježíšek must be really very nice man because he brings also presents to those who were not as good as they should. I opened all packages easily – all I had to do was to pull on the ribbon and than take off the paper. Step by step I discovered some clothes – for mommy’s yoga and daddy’s sport, for me too. There were also some books and above all I found three cars.

I took the clothes and put it on one place. I created my own nest and hid inside. I had my books and was really happy. I hoped I was invisible but I was not. Mom got me. Although I didn’t want to I was carried to bed and even though it was Christmas Eve, I had to go to sleep.

A mouse

You would think that the only mouse you could find here in our home is the one which does “click-click”. I had thought that for very long time too but daddy helped me to change it. At first it looked like he had only some strange “hearings” – he could hear some strange scratching in his work room. Soon these “hearings” turned into a small mouse.

When my mom and I woke up yesterday in the morning, mom suffered a bad shock. She could see a bag and a box of a computer in the hall and she got afraid that daddy was leaving for some pretty blond. The only thing that puzzled her was the waste basket standing by the computer and bag. But daddy explained that he could hear the scratching again and was not sure which of the three things it came from.

Mom got a bucket in her hand to catch the mouse if it tried to run away and daddy carefully opened the bag. That is the bag he takes to work with him. He always keeps some cookies in it for case he runs out of powers during long operative meetings in the office. This spare cookie was all eaten around (well it was not my work, I swear). There was anything else in the bag.

Than daddy took a screwdriver and opened the case of the old computer. He keeps it under the table in his work room and I have a sneaky feeling it is there rather to protect me from getting closer to the wall with many interesting cables.

Nothing happened. There was nothing in the case. But than daddy shook the box and something fell out… what do you think it was? Well of course a mouse. I was sitting in my highchair – in the right distance but with very good view of the whole scene. Both parents jumped up but than mom got back her courage and holding the bucket she started the hunt. I could see the killing instincts in her eyes. She put the bucket on the mouse with such strength that she did not see the neck of the mouse was not under the bucket but under its side edge. The executed the poor thing as French guys used to do during the revolution but the guillotine was much sharper.

And than the mouse was buried in our waste can and we again have only one pet – our hairy doggy Ája.

St. Nikolas came to town…

On Saturday we had a visit of St. Nikolas. I did not meet him personally, unfortunately. My dear parents did not let me look for him together with Aja and took us both for a walk.

At first I was enjoying the walk quite a lot because I was walking myself, looking around and into the gardens. You can see nicely decorated trees in the gardens nowadays. I also run with Aja and she too was enjoying herself – mostly sniffing around. Than I started to feel my feet. I have small feet – that start to hurt sooner than feet of adults. So I stopped every now and than to gain some fresh power and look here and there.

My nervous mother did not have an understanding for that and soon she grabbed me and fixed in my stroller. She had it with us and of course I should have known why! The rest of our walk was funny, I was screaming bloody murder to punish mother and I am sure if we met anybody, people would turn behind us. Only the streets were empty.

When we came home, I could see St. Nikolas had already been gone. He just left two packages with nice ribbons on it. One was for me and one for my daddy. Mom did not get anything; she was not good the whole year. Daddy was surprised that both packages included something yummy. I guess he sort of expected to get only a package of coal (although I don’t know what would we use it for – you cannot use it either in our fireplace or in our gas boiler). I on the other hand was not surprised at all. I knew I was to get a lot of good things. The only thing I was not happy about was that we missed the visit. I was curious how the devils looked like. Well, may be next year.

I opened the package right away; took out a small chocolate figure of St. Nikolas – well it was rather a miniature of a small figure – and ate it at once. I was not allowed to eat anything else from the package because my parents though I would not eat my dinner. But sweets are much better than ordinary dinner, are they not?

Things I love

Not that long time ago my mom and I had a debate regarding my meals. Mom feels it is not very healthy to drink sweetened tea and so called “juices for children” full of Es. Also cakes and cookies are not supposed to be suitable for daily feeding. I on the contrary would not deprecate this kind of food so fast but do you think she hears to my calls? Of course not! You are small so just listen!

But to be fair sometimes I also get something yummy. Partly it is thanks to my daddy who is not afraid to try new things with me and from time to time gives me a bite of something new. When mom sees that the new food does no wrong to me, she fights against it less intensely. I am lucky to have such daddy.

Another good thing is that mom stopped making the instant tasteless stuff for babies for my snack. I rather get some fruits and from time to time something better …. and especially… the famous and popular creamy snack Pribinacek. I simply love it. Mom still does not want to let me eat it for each meal a day but I get it quite often :-).

Another thing I am not sure about is her insisting on feeding me. I would like to gain some independence regarding this matter. Once I even got an opportunity to do so although mom did not really plan it. I was sitting on my chair and was having my snack. Well I was rather being fed. Daddy called mom to check something so mom left and she forgot she put the jar with my snack in my reach. I was waiting for her patiently but she did not come fast enough. Than I lost my patience and served myself.

Mom came back when I was in the middle of eating. She was not happy but I must admit she took it well. She smiled and took a camera. And daddy… well he was really laughing loud… he did not have to clean me after that :-).

Broken Rolls-Royce

The day before yesterday my parents suddenly disappeared. Luckily I still have my grandma and grandpa, so it was not such a big problem for me.

Than yesterday mom probably changed her mind, because when I woke up after my morning siesta, she was back home. Daddy was still missing so we had to go for a walk with Ája and mom alone.

Before se left, mom had to return for a tire-pump. One of the wheels of my coach was empty. Meanwhile Ája kept walking to and fro behind the gate as if she was a lion in the cage. That doggy girl has no patience, I am afraid.

Today in the morning the situation repeated. Mom had to go back home to get the pump again to blow up the wheel. That was a clear signal, that something is wrong. My supercar was broken!

We barely got to the town square to mail some letters (oh yeah here we still use the mail service sometimes :-)). It was just about a quarter of an hour to get there but my coach had already been limping. Therefore we also visited a small shop with coaches for kids and mom used all her charm so finally the shopkeeper sold her the last tube she had.

After that we headed to a bike shop. There mom asked some mechanic to lend her a tire-pump. He was so kind that he took the broken wheel and replaced the tube. It took him just a minute or two and the coach was all right again. I gave him my best smile for that and we could turn back to go home.

When we passed the market place, I could see many boxes with wet fruit and vegetables on display. It had been raining in the morning and when I looked to the sky, it was full of heavy clouds. Mom increased her pace and Ája too went quite fast. I tried to help mom with the dog, so I at least held the leash.

We were almost at home then the first rain drops started to fall. Mom pulled down the roof on my coach and quickened her steps even more. I am thinking of going online and ordering something like the “Spirit of Ecstasy” for my coach as it can go so fast :-).

We arrived just in time. Mom took me and ran in the house. At the moment we entered the house, those rain drops turned into pouring rain. I was so tired after that fast climbing the hill that I fell asleep the minute mom laid me to my bed. What a day!

Up to the Mount Everest!

Recently I have been spending my days in quite busy manner. For example today I started to train for climbing high mountains. Our staircase is very suitable place for such training.

I caught on the lower bar of the hand railing and step by step I always pulled myself up with my hands and stepped on the stair up. There are many stairs there. Soon I started to get bored with this slow proceeding and decided to do two stairs at once. I have to admit my supporting team was not very excited about it. May be they were afraid they would not be able to keep up.

The team is not very big. It has only two members but they are really a loyal tem. They go with me to almost everywhere. Our explorer is Ája. She always runs back and forth. She comes back especially when she sees in front of us some big dog, than she runs to hide behind the rest of us.

Unfortunately this running is not very helpful when you try to climb high stairs. Our staircase isn’t too narrow but when you are trying to train honestly for mountain climbing the hairy tail in your face does not help much.

The second member of our supporting team was my mom. She particularly was not happy about my tries to get my leg not one but two steps up. She kept advising to not do that. But when I wanted her to help me – to give me a little push from the other side (than it would be easier to step up) – she refused. Her argument was that I decided for the mountain climbing tour myself so I had to finish it myself too.

The climbing was quite demanding and now I know how Hillary felt when climbing Mount Everest. I too had that wonderful feeling when I got all the way up to the upper floor. Ája kept in the respectful distance behind me and my loyal Tenzing Norgay secured me from under and stood one stair below me.

I wonder what to climb next…

The Gardener

Yesterday in the afternoon I was helping my mom to take care for our little garden. Well, I was mostly the one who did the dirty work and mom spent most of the time chatting with our neighbor who has just returned from holiday trip. They were both cleaning the beds by the stairs so I had to take care of the front part of our garden myself.

At first I was just playing games with Ája. That was at the time when mom was still working on the flowerbeds under our large poison oak. From time to time she had some words with our neighbor but most of the time she was working. But than she straightened her back out and started to talk to that neighbor and it was clear that there would not be any more work.

Therefore I left Ája sunbathing on the lawn. She was chewing on her favorite wooden stick and didn’t care I left her alone. I went to check on one of the flower beds, which is placed in a long sandstone manger. There are some flowers inside and also small decorative stones. Next to the manger mom put another flowerpot with only some ground in it. I was surprised because in that pot there was nothing growing. Just something like poppy seeds was on the surface. Why would my mom put poppy seeds in a pot? Strange, isn’t it? So I started to place the ground from the pot to the manger. Flowers always need some more ground, right? I just gave them some nutrition.

Mom forgot to buy me my own gardening tools so I had to take the ground by my own hands. You have to sacrifice yourself for the good. I gave some ground to the nearest flower than I took some ground back so the flower would not have too much. I was just going to move with the pot to the next flower when mom came. Her hands full of ground too. I thing the neighbor must have gone home so mom started working again.

Mommy was not looking at me too happily. Instead of thanking me for the help she was actually quite angry. She took the added ground from the poor flower and gave it back to the pot. Than she washed her hands in a bucket with rain water (although she never let me put my hands into it) and wiped them on the working trousers she was wearing. Than she grabbed me, knocked off the dirt from my hands and took me home. I was humiliated – my clothes was taken off, I was washed a little and than left to my own fate.

For some times I could hear mom from outside as she angrily cleaned all gardening tools. She was saying thing about basil that it does not look the best among the decorative garden nettles etc. I didn’t understand a word. Than I went to have a bath. As I already said it was quite clear from the beginning – the moment mom started chatting with the neighbor – that she won’t do much work that day. And of course I was right. She never got back to gardening that afternoon.

One day in the morning

This morning we got up unusually early. I am not surprised with my dad; he is used to getting up soon after sunrise, when even I am still almost asleep. Sometimes I get inspired with his departure from bedroom and want to go too but mommy tries to keep me in bed little longer.

So today we all got up early. Mom was quite awake and didn’t look like ragbaby which does not want to get out of bed. On the other hand daddy was kind of greenish and didn’t look very happy.

After breakfast both parents fought for who would spend more time in bathroom. They held their toothbrushes and it took them much longer than usually to finish the morning hygiene. After mom was done, she tried to clean my teeth with that strange finger brush she bought me. Usually I resist and don’t cooperate. Today I bit her into her finger and locked my mouth. These morning matches are approximately 2:1 for me :-).

At half past six we all were already gone on our way to the downtown. We entered one quite nice building, left my stroller on the ground floor and climbed some stairs up. There we had to wait. I made my waiting shorter by “running” around on the benches and looking at some flowers on the windows. Than an elderly light hair lady arrived. I am fond of blonds but this one has some strange aura around. She smiled at me, than she disappeared behind “sound protection” door. Hmm… strange, my daddy got even greener in his face. Mommy kept smiling.

Than my daddy disappeared behind that door too. There was some short time of complete silence and than the door opened. Daddy peeped out. He wasn’t green any more; he was actually smiling and asked us in. I did not like the room at all. There was big armchair with large lamp above it in there. Mom and I sat down into that armchair but instead of taking out some book and reading, mom held my arms and head and that blond woman started to dig form my teeth. I was very disappointed with this behavior and wanted to defend against it but I couldn’t. Mom helped her instead of me. What a treachery!

Luckily, it took just a little while. Than I went to my daddy and snuggled into his arms. As compensation I got some picture of a duck, so I crumpled it right away. Daddy and I left that strange room but mom stood inside. Now the card had turned. Daddy kept smiling but mom lost some of her color in her face. My parents had also some portrait pictures of their teeth made (I have only 6 teeth yet so nobody wanted to take picture of mine) and we left for home.
Mom’s mood did not improve much. I guess it is because she will have to repeat this visit very soon.