And of course I was right!

So as usually I was right, when I felt uncomfortable about today lunch. Mom did not forget. I have to admit, she tried hard but the result was the same – completely spoiled lunch.

Already before lunch mom had some sneaky smile on her face when she was cutting some orange stick to small pieces. Than she put it into a pot and added a few drops from a tall square glass. I expected, and I was right, that she had again been preparing my “lunch”. When mom was my curious looks, she explained that she was cooking carrot with a drop of olive oil, which is important to release vitamins from the carrot. I hope I won’t be overmuch healthy :(

Recently mom has been in trouble with time so I had to watch the cover dancing on the small pot alone from my bed. It took some time till I could smell something strange. In one more minute my lunch started to send some smoke signals to the surroundings. That woke my mom’s attention too and she stopped running around the dinning room where she had been cleaning and went to save my lunch.

Mom had to ventilate kitchen properly, as the smoke signals were quite strong.

Daddy was laughing a lot. He explained that this had already been sort of tradition here. Mom always burns meal when she cooks or bakes something for the first time. My daddy loves cinnamon cookies. When mom baked them for the first time, she burned them properly so daddy managed to eat only one or two pieces and the rest had to be thrown away. It took mom whole year till she made herself to bake the cookies again.

This gave me some hope. May be it meant the end of the experiments with my lunch. But the hope disappeared soon. I found out that mom had whole package of carrot in the fridge. This seems I can expect very “happy” childhood :(.

Maryša, where did you buy the mash?

There it is. The fight has just started – fight for my dear life. My own mother decided to poison me.

It all started quite innocently. I was placed into my seat as usually at lunch time and was looking forward to the upcoming rice mash with banana flavor. I got used to sweet banana taste very fast, although at the beginning I pretended I was not very keen about it. That is just because I was expected to act like that.

So I was in my seat and not expecting anything wrong I opened my mouth. And just after that the hard fight started. In a second I could feel something very strange in my mouth. It was orange and did not taste like my favorite mash at all. There were some very strange pieces on my tongue. Before I could do anything there was new portion of this disgusting stuff. Than I realized mom planned it all already yesterday. She gave me before lunch about three spoons of some orange liquid with some trace rests of milk flavor. I was not very keen about it but I still sort of ate it to make her happy.

Before mom managed to stick the second spoon of the orange stuff into my mouth I started to choke the first one out. The next moment the orange mash was everywhere. I guess mom didn’t need to clean the floor yesterday so carefully.

Than she tried to mix little bit of this orange thing in my rice mash. It completely damaged the taste of the mash and it could not cover the orange stuff. Grrr… slowly and carefully I poke it all from my mouth with my tongue and spitted it all around me. Ája, who kept watching under my chair hoping for something GOOD to eat jumped and run away with orange hair on her back. Mom tried to squeeze from the stuff she called “good carrot, just take a bite” at least some juice and mix it again into my mash. Well, she couldn’t bluff me. She could not make me to eat it - not even when she promised that if I ate the carrot, I would be healthy and would not have to wear 4 eyes as my daddy does.

The end of the match was sad. I ate just the bites containing my mash – and I was very careful doing so. Mom tried to sneak in my mouth sometimes little carrot but I always found out and kept spitting it back. The result was quite good- dirty dog, I got my clothes changed and I think mom is going to change her t-shirt too. She maybe also has some carrot in her hair. I don’t, but that is only because I don’t have any hair.

Mom was knocked down completely. I have beaten her and the carrot one to nil. Now I am just terrified what will come tomorrow.

A journey to Hell

I have already visited Hell. This Hell is unusual, there are many devils living in one cottage, but I think nobody is really afraid of them.

This Hell can be found near town Nové Město nad Metují and we decided to make a trip with my grandparents, parents and Ája of course. We left our car near a small bridge by the river Metuje, which is about 4 km far from Hell and from there we walked (well some of us were actually driven :-)) to Hell. Trees around already changed their coats into Autumn and so we saw many different colors on them. Metuje, which does not have much water there went on very slowly past high cliffs and only rarely speeded a little and made some whirlpools.

Ája was very happy. She kept jumping into water and she didn’t care at all that the water was very cold and sometimes she had no place to climb back to the bank. When she got back to the path, her hair was like a hay-stack.

In the middle of our journey we saw some ducks on the river. The birds were enjoying nice weather and calm water but only by the moment when Ája saw them too. She jumped into water and run directly to them. Her hunting instinct woke up, water splashing everywhere and suddenly the ducks took off. Ája accelerated immediately too trying to catch them. Unfortunately she still cannot fly so the ducks soon disappeared. Only after this Ája realized that she was a retriever and retrievers were supposed to bring hunted birds to the hunter and not to hunt them alive.

When we arrived to the village Peklo (= the Hell), it was lunch time so we all had something to eat. Just the poor dog didn’t get anything. The dogs were not allowed into the restaurant so she had to stay outside. Daddy spent most of the time there with her as she would be able to leave with some strangers.

The restaurant in Hell is a bit strange. It is full of devils, demons and satans. The only thing which is not like in Hell is, that it was not very warm inside. I was OK, as mommy wrapped me in my sleeping bag but others had to wear their coats. The waiter too looked like some devil. I could not see if he had a hoof but his behavior was very devil like.

After lunch we set off back round the river. Daddy tried to talk Ája into not jumping into water so her hair would dry. She seemed to get it but as soon as mom and dad didn’t pay attention, she jumped into water again. Well, we arrived home well, I was relaxed, my parents and grandparents a little tired and Ája… Ája was very wet :-)