My first Christmas

Finally I know why do they sing “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas…“ Unfortunately you can only dream of such Christmas. When you look out of the window you can see just very light dusting on the grass. It looks like trying to cover little bit darker top of Christmas bread with powder sugar, which you have just run out of.

On the Christmas day there was completely no snow. I can tell because we went for a walk to see grandma and grandpa. When we got home, everybody was in good mood. I had a little nap in my stroller to gain powers for evening. Just my parents looked a little frozen.

In the evening we all dressed up, Ája wore a ribbon around her neck and daddy took a new fresh shirt. During the dinner I sat with my parents by the dinning table and kept banging with my rattle keeping the rhythm of Christmas carols.

After dinner we moved to the living room. There is a pretty Christmas tree in the corner with many beautifully glittering decorations. Unfortunately I was not allowed to either touch or taste any of them :-(. I could not even touch any of the lights daddy turned on.

I think Ježíšek (Jesus Child) had to arrive with the presents when parents were having dinner. Before dinner the Christmas tree was standing lonely and alone. When we came after dinner there were many boxes and presents under the Christmas tree decorated with nice wrapping paper and ribbons. I was interested mainly in the ribbons so when mom placed me on the floor I headed directly to the first present and started to unpack it. Mom and daddy had to help me as it was not as easy as I had hoped. The result though surprised me pleasantly. There were a few plastics rings suitable for beslavering and throwing on Ája.

Ája also got some presents. Her the most favorite was the one from which she pulled out a yummy salami stick. She didn’t pay attention to the wrapping paper, which I on the other hand liked a lot. I patiently mumbled it and kept tearing it for so long that at the end there was just a bulk of paper. Before my parents opened all presents I managed to tear some more paper and ribbons.

I got to bed with my tummy full and pleasantly tired. My wardrobe and toy box enlarged and Ája keeps visiting the drawer with her treats much more often than before. I like Christmas.

Little artist

Recently I have been remiss in my duties to the blog. I am afraid it is all because of Christmas coming soon. My mom and I are having quite a lot to do. Mommy keeps running around with a piece of cloth in her hand cleaning or spreading flour all around floor in kitchen. Sometimes she also throws the already baked Christmas cookies on the floor.

Poor Ája wants to help so she tried to eat the cookies - just in case somebody stepped on it and made more mess. But mommy does not sympathize with her and picks the cookies up. May be she wants to have more ammunition for next time to throw on Ája.

Besides cleaning and baking there are many other positive sides of Christmas. One of them is the light. Daddy placed small lights on the trees behind the house and my parents take me from time to time to the window so I could have a look. That is fine. I can also amuse myself with pulling on the curtains.

In the living room we have advent wreath with four candles. I like the candles burning. So does Ája so she walks around waving her tail to support the flames with some air. I just keep waiting for her tail to get on fire too…

I have been diligent before Christmas too. I keep practicing to be able to crawl for my presents under the Christmas tree (I suppose there will be tons of them as I am terribly good baby) myself. So far I manage to crawl on my knees and hands just a little and than I fell on my belly and move ahead just using my hands and arms.


Therefore I also keep developing my muscles on my arms. One of my favorite activities is to scratch on the wall behind my bed in kitchen. It sound well but my parents don’t sympathize with my musical talent and keep pulling my bed away from the wall. Today I made up one improvement. I found my dummy under one of the teddies. At first I stuck it into my mouth as usually but than it crossed my mind that I could use it as a prolonged hand. The dummy sounded wonderful and it also helped me to get among painters. Mommy found out soon and took the dummy away but I am quite curious what will daddy say to the pretty, cubist line I drew on the wall with my dummy :-)

My first tooth

Today I grew my first tooth. Finally! Recently I had been having some strange feelings in my mouth, saliva pouring… The only thing that helped from the unpleasant feeling was to rub the gums on different toys, sticks fencing the bed, hands – my own as well as of my parents, blanket and other similar accessories. Once I saw my parents carefully cleaning their hands it was clear that they were going to stick their fingers into my mouth.

This morning I was doing the regular morning hygiene with my mom when she saw a spot on my lower gum. She immediately went to clean her hands and there we go – I had her fingers in my mouth. In a minute she touched the little bulge, which I had been rubbing my tongue already for a few hours.

When daddy came for a snack, mom announced him the news. He immediately went to clean his hands and there we go – I had his fingers in my mouth. And again I could hear agreeing nodding. I hope this will come with every new tooth. I think there should be nineteen more coming :-).

A strange woman

A few days ago my mom disappeared. At one moment she was there, giving me my snack. Than granny and granddad came, short while after that my dad came home and than suddenly mom was not there. I didn’t even register her leaving.

I was at home with my grandparents, sometimes daddy came to say hello or Ája put her nose into my bed. It was OK. In three days I moved with my grandparents to their home. I didn’t sleep in my bed, I got different blanket to play on… I could play with other toys.

And as soon as I finally got used to it, there was another change. I was lying on the blanket on the floor, sucking on an ear of my toy giraffe. My gum keeps itching and the ear is a good help. And than my daddy came with some strange woman. Immediately I started crying – well I am not ashamed to admit I was crying like a little baby :). I was crying so heartbreakingly that granny had to take me to her arms to quiet me. It calmed me down a little but as soon as the strange woman came closer, I started to cry like a crocodile again.

It took me at least half an hour to accept the information that the strange woman is my mom so I stopped crying. I still watched her suspiciously but I let her hold me in her arms. And than it was all clear! She was really my mom – surely she was – she smelled good like my mom and she also had such smooth hair – suitable for pulling – just like my mom :)

And of course I was right!

So as usually I was right, when I felt uncomfortable about today lunch. Mom did not forget. I have to admit, she tried hard but the result was the same – completely spoiled lunch.

Already before lunch mom had some sneaky smile on her face when she was cutting some orange stick to small pieces. Than she put it into a pot and added a few drops from a tall square glass. I expected, and I was right, that she had again been preparing my “lunch”. When mom was my curious looks, she explained that she was cooking carrot with a drop of olive oil, which is important to release vitamins from the carrot. I hope I won’t be overmuch healthy :(

Recently mom has been in trouble with time so I had to watch the cover dancing on the small pot alone from my bed. It took some time till I could smell something strange. In one more minute my lunch started to send some smoke signals to the surroundings. That woke my mom’s attention too and she stopped running around the dinning room where she had been cleaning and went to save my lunch.

Mom had to ventilate kitchen properly, as the smoke signals were quite strong.

Daddy was laughing a lot. He explained that this had already been sort of tradition here. Mom always burns meal when she cooks or bakes something for the first time. My daddy loves cinnamon cookies. When mom baked them for the first time, she burned them properly so daddy managed to eat only one or two pieces and the rest had to be thrown away. It took mom whole year till she made herself to bake the cookies again.

This gave me some hope. May be it meant the end of the experiments with my lunch. But the hope disappeared soon. I found out that mom had whole package of carrot in the fridge. This seems I can expect very “happy” childhood :(.

Maryša, where did you buy the mash?

There it is. The fight has just started – fight for my dear life. My own mother decided to poison me.

It all started quite innocently. I was placed into my seat as usually at lunch time and was looking forward to the upcoming rice mash with banana flavor. I got used to sweet banana taste very fast, although at the beginning I pretended I was not very keen about it. That is just because I was expected to act like that.

So I was in my seat and not expecting anything wrong I opened my mouth. And just after that the hard fight started. In a second I could feel something very strange in my mouth. It was orange and did not taste like my favorite mash at all. There were some very strange pieces on my tongue. Before I could do anything there was new portion of this disgusting stuff. Than I realized mom planned it all already yesterday. She gave me before lunch about three spoons of some orange liquid with some trace rests of milk flavor. I was not very keen about it but I still sort of ate it to make her happy.

Before mom managed to stick the second spoon of the orange stuff into my mouth I started to choke the first one out. The next moment the orange mash was everywhere. I guess mom didn’t need to clean the floor yesterday so carefully.

Than she tried to mix little bit of this orange thing in my rice mash. It completely damaged the taste of the mash and it could not cover the orange stuff. Grrr… slowly and carefully I poke it all from my mouth with my tongue and spitted it all around me. Ája, who kept watching under my chair hoping for something GOOD to eat jumped and run away with orange hair on her back. Mom tried to squeeze from the stuff she called “good carrot, just take a bite” at least some juice and mix it again into my mash. Well, she couldn’t bluff me. She could not make me to eat it - not even when she promised that if I ate the carrot, I would be healthy and would not have to wear 4 eyes as my daddy does.

The end of the match was sad. I ate just the bites containing my mash – and I was very careful doing so. Mom tried to sneak in my mouth sometimes little carrot but I always found out and kept spitting it back. The result was quite good- dirty dog, I got my clothes changed and I think mom is going to change her t-shirt too. She maybe also has some carrot in her hair. I don’t, but that is only because I don’t have any hair.

Mom was knocked down completely. I have beaten her and the carrot one to nil. Now I am just terrified what will come tomorrow.

A journey to Hell

I have already visited Hell. This Hell is unusual, there are many devils living in one cottage, but I think nobody is really afraid of them.

This Hell can be found near town Nové Město nad Metují and we decided to make a trip with my grandparents, parents and Ája of course. We left our car near a small bridge by the river Metuje, which is about 4 km far from Hell and from there we walked (well some of us were actually driven :-)) to Hell. Trees around already changed their coats into Autumn and so we saw many different colors on them. Metuje, which does not have much water there went on very slowly past high cliffs and only rarely speeded a little and made some whirlpools.

Ája was very happy. She kept jumping into water and she didn’t care at all that the water was very cold and sometimes she had no place to climb back to the bank. When she got back to the path, her hair was like a hay-stack.

In the middle of our journey we saw some ducks on the river. The birds were enjoying nice weather and calm water but only by the moment when Ája saw them too. She jumped into water and run directly to them. Her hunting instinct woke up, water splashing everywhere and suddenly the ducks took off. Ája accelerated immediately too trying to catch them. Unfortunately she still cannot fly so the ducks soon disappeared. Only after this Ája realized that she was a retriever and retrievers were supposed to bring hunted birds to the hunter and not to hunt them alive.

When we arrived to the village Peklo (= the Hell), it was lunch time so we all had something to eat. Just the poor dog didn’t get anything. The dogs were not allowed into the restaurant so she had to stay outside. Daddy spent most of the time there with her as she would be able to leave with some strangers.

The restaurant in Hell is a bit strange. It is full of devils, demons and satans. The only thing which is not like in Hell is, that it was not very warm inside. I was OK, as mommy wrapped me in my sleeping bag but others had to wear their coats. The waiter too looked like some devil. I could not see if he had a hoof but his behavior was very devil like.

After lunch we set off back round the river. Daddy tried to talk Ája into not jumping into water so her hair would dry. She seemed to get it but as soon as mom and dad didn’t pay attention, she jumped into water again. Well, we arrived home well, I was relaxed, my parents and grandparents a little tired and Ája… Ája was very wet :-)

Little black balls

Indian summer came on Friday. Unfortunately it disappeared on Sunday but still we really enjoyed the two pretty days. Mom and I went to the grandparents’ garden to pick up some rowan and to catch some sun light.

On Friday we went alone. As we went by car, I could spend the time sitting in my removable car seat on the loan. I was looking around through the small meshes of the mosquito net and kept happily “singing”. From time to time a wasp tried to get under my net but without success. My protection shutter was perfect. The black-yellow fighters had to leave. They probably went back to look for some forgotten plums, which could hide somewhere behind flowers in the flower beds.

Mommy diligently picked the little black balls of rowan. She was standing on old unstable stepladder and kept putting the balls to a small bucket underneath. Sometimes I could hear the balls running on rubber pavements between flower beds because mom didn’t always send the balls to bucket. Soon her hands were all red from the juice and her hair was all slatternly from the branches and wind.

The sky was beautifully blue, just the wind blew with strong breath. It reminded me of a kids poem “Blow, blow the wind…” and than, suddenly, the wind did really blow and almost did put down a little pear like in that poem… actually - no, not a pear because there are no pears on the garden…but my mom. Mom caught on the tree and was swaying in the rhythm of the wind. Luckily both my mom and the tree survived, the stepladder did not break and mom did not break any arm or hand either. We left for home with three buckets of rowan, some tomatoes and flowers. In the evening mom made cider from the juice of rowan and the will also make liqueur from the juice.

On Saturday we went to the garden again. This time I was in my pram and mom kept pushing me. We also took Aja with us and sometimes it looked like she was walking alone without us. When mom called on her she did as if she did not hear. Aja does this from time to time but usually it ends with her being belted on the leash again and having some wind in her fur. After this she usually does not talk to my parents for the whole afternoon.

Just before the last hill we met my granny. She was cycling to the garden too. There was some rowan left and it had to be picked before the birds would do it. Mom parked my so I could watch her and granny and than she took the stepladder again. Aja helped a lot. She kept walking around and picking the balls which fell on the ground.

Than, Aja got tired of looking for the missed balls of rowan and she went around the garden to have a look at the flowers and I guess she also met some wasps. Than she found out there was a whole bucked of rowan on the grass. Why to pick sole balls when you have the whole serving prepared in from of you… But mom saw her and she retrieved the bucked and hid it. Poor dog! Aja tried to find the bucket again and than she lied down next to my pram and she was probably digesting the vitamin C she ate.

We all came home tired but happy and relaxed. The sun makes miracles.

When I grow up

When I grow up, I would like to be a workman. I would work for medium size construction company, which builds isolation on small houses and I would have a perfect life like in clover.

Well, such workman has to wake up early in the morning to be on spot at six a.m. but the supervisors are kind at work so he always gets a few first days to get used to it and those days he starts work much later. Anyway I don’t mind getting up very early (unlike my mom who has quite troubles to keep up with me :).

When I come to work I will always have a cup of coffee to wake up properly. Some little work in the morning always heats one up but you have to be careful so I will also take lots of brakes. I will take at least two snack breaks and one or two more breaks to have some more coffee… well and of course there is also the lunch pause. Another thing I have to think over is smoking because if I start smoking I will get at least three more breaks to smoke. It is surprising how fast the day runs. I will work from six a.m. to four p.m. and I will go home at around three and on Fridays I will leave earlier – lets say at two – to enjoy my family, you know…

What I for sure don’t want to be is a programmer. I can see it at home. My dad gets up also very early to be by the computer at six a.m. But he never takes a cup of coffee before work. He takes some snack only when mom brings it to him and he eats it while working. He takes only very short time for lunch pause and than he keeps working by late afternoon. You can hear him clapping on the keyboard or talking on the phone. Sometimes he also leaves home for some meetings but that is even worse. I am surprised he still remembers he also has Aja, mom and me and that he still finds some time to walk Aja or to help mom with shopping bags.

No no … I will definitely join the great group of workpeople…

How we had our facade isolation made

There is lots of movement at home again. On Mondays a big new action started. A group of four men came with lots of tools and tubes wooden boards. The motto is “Demolish and destroy!” At first the chief told my mom that they would work from early morning to late night (i.e. from six a.m. to four p.m.) but the reality is a little different. The first day the boss arrived at around eight and the rest of the group was even later. I don’t know exactly when because at that time I was in the tax office with my parents (I have already written about it before – my second story with blackmailers). At two p.m. they were gone again. Next day they came an hour earlier so they are getting better :-).

The workmen started to work with the tubes and wooden boards. They made scaffolding. It all had to be very heavy because they had to finish it next day. My dad could not look at it and left for St. Petersburg. No wonder, the workmen started to make terrible noise when demolishing the old facade.

They have been demolishing it for third day already. They keep taking down the old asbestos facade, siding and wooden boards. The strokes are so loud that they woke me up several times and two or three times I was even afraid they ploughed inside. Luckily the house is still standing all right. It just looks very sad – it is like naked.

Aja also does not really like the works. She tries to sleep a lot but sometimes she startles, jumps and starts barking. Oh yes, Aja also know how to bark! Unfortunately she sometimes also barks at night. She probably does not like the scaffolding around the house. One night she even stressed mom so much that she took a fire-hook and went around to check the house. As Aja had already waked her up at least twice before, mom kept walking around with big dark sacks under her eyes the next day.

Already the first day mom let the workers know very clearly that the job at our house won’t be so easy. One of them smoked at ten when they were taking the first coffee break (first of many). Mom saw it so she gave him an old tea cup she usually gives to the smoking visitors instead of ashtray. The others were laughing at the smoker saying it was cleaver of my mom to do it as he would otherwise keep throwing the fag-ends around the garden. I am quite curious how many of those fag-ends is mom going to find when they are finished because they left the cup in the back garden but started to work mainly in the front.

I am also a little worried that when I start walking I won’t have any place to play. My parents got me a small but very nice garden where you can run around the grass, crawl into the flower beds and jump on the sandpit. Well… you could. Now there are old boards everywhere, huge bags with waste, tools and dust. It looks here like on a battle field, the grass is beaten down, there are nails dropped into the flower bed and the sandpit is gone. Aja is unhappy that she doesn’t even have a little space where to go and mom cannot look at the havoc any more. Daddy will be shocked when she is back. I wish it was all over soon!

Blackmailers all around

And there it is again. Do you remember one of my last stories about the blackmailers? Finally I started to feel safer regarding my toys as it seemed all problems were solved. My dad even received a letter from the lawyer confirming that the whole thing was a mistake.

The feeling of the safety was gone very soon. There was another blackmailer letter delivered. This time the envelop with a red strip was delivered to my grandparents. It was addressed to my mom and it again threatening with execution. The blackmailer was not the Czech Tv again but this time it was the tax office.

My grandmother felt very nervous. She said that she would never expect such threat because of my mom. She scanned the letter and sent it to mommy so she would have something to think about over the weekend.

And that is what she did. She kept thinking about it whole weekend. On Monday we all went for a walk to the tax office. Mom, daddy and I took a few rides in an elevator, visited a few offices and spent at least an hour with the woman who had sent the terrible letter. Finally everything was explained and the blackmailer woman did admit that the letter was a mistake and that there is really no debt on my mother’s account. Another twenty minutes my parents spent arguing with her asking for some written confirmation. The lady thought she had it on the hook and that she wouldn’t for sure give any confirmation. But she was no match for my father. He silenced her idle talk about no confirmation with a calm face of Charles Bronson as given by law my parents had a right for something called “Oral Proceeding Record”. Finally we left for home with this record in my mom’s bag. The record said literally that the tax office requested the money based on false claim and that my mom does not owe anything to them. The controller lady must have sleeping problems now and I guess from time to time she keeps hearing harmonica in her nightmares… :-)

We arrived home at the last moment – just on time to give me something to eat. I started to announce the hunger already on the way.

Than daddy just took his two bags, waved us and he was gone. Luckily at leas my mom stayed with me.

Television – my good friend

My parents are usually quite fain and they for sure love me but sometimes I cannot understand them at all. For example yesterday. Mom was feeding me my afternoon snack and she turned the TV on to watch some news. We have a new box under the Tv set – my parents call it satellite – and unlike the old one this box allows us to watch also more Czech programs like ČT24 etc.

So mom watched the news on ČT24 and she held me to not be able to watch it too. I don’t understand why can’t I enjoy the movable pictures when she can watch it.

I tried to wrick my neck, I was not interested in the bottle any more, and I was kicking my mom for so long that I really managed to take a glimpse of the box with movable pictures. Unfortunately my mom is quite sensitive and she understood what I was up to very soon. She simply switched the TV off. Instead of both being satisfied we both didn’t watch.

We have already had the similar fight with my daddy. Colorful Olympics circles, lots of musclemen and musclewomen who looked like the men, music, shouts and other noises … that all was on TV and daddy was watching it. Mom was running around with iron and was working on my clean wear. I was lying therefore on my daddy’s lap trying to suck on my fingers. Daddy is even worse than my mom. He also doesn’t let me suck on my fingers and he even hides my hands so not to be able to put it into my mouth. In a while I got bored with the fight and than I realized why I was lying with my back towards the TV. The TV was on and I was going to miss the fun.

So the new fight started. At first I kept turning but daddy realized what I was about to do. Than I tried to change my strategy. I behaved as if I was interested in a toy and as soon as daddy started giving it to me, I turned. It is not easy but I made it. And what do you think daddy did? Of course he turned me back in a way I really had no chance to watch the TV. Luckily my neck is still very flexible. I almost wringed off my head but I could see. Well, just for a while. Daddy turned me back again and when he saw I was not giving up, he simply took to another room. Such a life! :(

Growing fast

Today I went to see my doctor again. She had to make sure I was growing and developing well.

At first we visited mom’s office in the town and she tried to download some anti-virus program to one of the computers. I am afraid we will have to go there again. Mom was actually a bit angry with the computer and she almost forgot I should get something to eat. I had to remind her loudly.

When we arrived to the doctor’s, there were many people already waiting. Next to me there way a pretty chick parked with many toys around her. She made lots of noise and kept kicking her mother or crying. I guess she didn’t like waiting too. To be honest her mother paid much more attention to my pretty eyes than to her daughter’s cries.

Besides the girls, there was also one boy but I pretended I was not interested in him. I kept looking at him only a little… he was already 6 months and could sit! I have to admit, I envied him a lot. I wished I could do that too. My action radius would be much wider :).

Finally, it was our turn and we got into the office. The nurse took my weight and height as usually. I am 6,25 kg and 61cm. I already knew I was growing, because I could not fit into some of favorite clothes.

My mom also complained of me putting my fingers into the mouth. The doctor smiled and she advised my mom to give me some toy instead so I would forget the fingers. Well, it is easy to say but all the toys are too heavy!

Than the doctor just said I was all right and that the next visit would be some torturing again. I am going to have another vaccination. Poor me!

On our way home we also stopped by in some store and mom got me a new toy – it is a rattle and it looks like a big safety-pin. It is quite light so I can handle it all right. Sometimes I stick it into my eye or bump into my head but I just need to practice a little. The only thing, which troubles me now is that I don’t know what to do first – Shell I stick my finger or the toy or actually the dummy into my mouth? I don’t really know – the fingers taste best but mom and dad keep watching!

Starting to be dangerous

I am really very skillful but my mom says I’m slowly starting to be dangerous to myself. It all started last week when I held my bottle with tea myself and alone for the first time. I don’t like that tea much but I had lost of fun with the bottle. There is some special nipple on it so I should not spilt the tea but nothing is perfect so finally I was all wet. Besides, this nipple is great to point with it not only into your mouth but also into your eye. I just must train my arms because I get tired very soon.

However I became much more dangerous to myself on Friday. I started to roll! Mom was just working on some boring translation and I was lying next to her on the big working table trying to tear off one ear on the small plushy dog. It got bored with this activity soon and so I threw the dog under the table. Mom saw it and bended under the table to get it back. I used this moment and started to roll. When mom got back I was laying on my side, lower part of my little body was already rolled and the only thing (unfortunately quite significant thing) which was in the way was my lower arm. I could not get over it. Also I could not have looked down from the table as mom places me unnecessarily too far away from the edge… I will have to learn how to crawl.

I keep training to roll diligently. Already on Saturday I showed it to my dad. I am getting quite good at it. Everything goes well but one “insignificant detail”. I can not understand why babies have two arms. One is quite enough to roll around and the other one just stays in the way. Otherwise it is very easy – I bend in my back like a bow, I throw the legs over each other and than I bend my head as if I wanted to break my neck. I just cannot get over that arm. Usually I lose my temper in some while and start to cry. Mammy helps me and I finish rolling to my belly and I am satisfied for a short while.

Yesterday I even tried to do my first “double-roll”. Mammy helped me to get to my belly and I immediately continued to get to another spin. Unfortunately my support team did not count with anything like that and there was not enough space around me so mom had to push me back a little. That completely destroyed my concentration and rolling was over.

I understand that my achievements are not sufficient enough fort he Olympic golden medial yet but if I spend more time training may be I will be able to do pirouettes too. Mom and dad are having lots of fun right now when I show them my new skills. I thing they still don’t realize that after rolling babies start to crawl and than I will be the one having a laugh :).

My first meeting with blackmailers

Today there was a lot of upheaval. In the morning a post woman came and she brought some interesting envelop. My dad was deeply interested in it. He kept looking at it and examining it from all possible sides. It was an envelope with confirmation of delivery. When he opened the envelope, he went through all documents, which were inside and than he just kept shaking his head in disbelief.

Mom borrowed it from him and than she also kept shaking her head and she repeated a few times “I can’t believe this”. Unfortunately they did not allow me to slobber it.

Are you curious what were inside? A blackmailer’s letter. The only thing is that it was not written by some kidnappers but by a lawyer and on the top of it it was written on behalf of the Czech TV. It said that my dad was due and that he had to pay a penalty of more ten thousand CZK and register among the other ratepayers. But it was for businessmen only and my dad neither repairs nor sells any TV sets and he pays the concessionary fee as everybody else.

Daddy spent a day trying to reach the lawyer by phone to make him send us a confirmation that the letter is just a mistake and that my dad does not owe any money. Finally he reached him and let’s hope the confirmation will come too.

Today’s world is strange. Even the statutory TV ranks itself among some smuggling blackmailers. And they do it voluntarily… and for the money of all of us! I start to fear for my plushy friends and teddy bears. What if some strange guy with yellow stickers (with words “distrait of debtor”) rings our bell one day and I lose everything? Where will I sleep? With whom will I play and what will I use to bath in?

My new dummy

Although I still don’t have any teeth I have already managed to get rid of two older dummies. My jaws are strong like of a big and angry crocodile. Poor mammy had to go and get me same new dummies.

We went through a few stores before mom realized it won’t be so easy. Finally she bought me quite nice orange “town” dummy. I call it “town” because there is a picture of a dragon on it and the dragon is a symbol of our town. It cost quite a lot of money and looks cool. We will see how long it is going to survive before I chew it up.

Just a few days later we saw some other dummies in another store. They taste quite good but the design is nothing special. One is red and one is blue. Especially the blue one had been troubling mom for a few days. When she bought them they were both packed in one package and the blue one was covered with the red one. Therefore she couldn’t have seen that there was a big red five-pointed “socialistic” star. She found out too late. Mom was watching me to suck on it just for about two days and than she gave up. Now there is a pretty sticker with a bear wearing a stocking hat over the star.

Originally my mom had the idea to give me a dummy as little as possible or not at all. I helped to change her mind :). About two weeks ago I started to chew on my fingers a lot. Sometimes I almost get my entire fist in mouth or I stuck two of my fingers so deep that it looks like I am trying to commit suicide. Mom neither likes my soaked fingers nor does she prefer listening to the whooping noises. Therefore she gives me the dummy – voluntarily and without any restrain.

As you can see I fight my mom with my own resources. I also spit dummies to all possible directions and I try to lie on them so mom couldn’t find them. I also learned to put my point finger underneath the dummy and take it out of my mouth – I can also use my second hand too. When I am really good, I just wave my hands once or twice and the dummy is gone. Last time Aja who was running around my bed helped me. She lay on the dummy and although mom was crawling around she couldn’t find anything. Aja was just happily smiling and wagging her tail. Good girl!

Martin – the joker

Today I had lot of fun again. It all started in the morning. Mom and I had much to do in the town and as it looked like it would start to rain, we took the car instead of my pram. Aja, poor think, had to stay at home.

First we went to the office of the healthcare company. Mammy was literally excited because she found a great parking spot right in front of the main entrance. But the happiness had vanished when she realized the entrance was blocked and there was only a tiny note on the door saying that you should use the “back door” instead. It was luck that we didn’t have the pram because there is quite a long stairway into the building. The pram would not fit in the for sure.

Another surprise was expecting us when we arrived to the third floor of the building. On the door of the office of the healthcare company there was a fresh new label with changed working hours. Just a few days ago they started at 7:30 a.m. but now it was postponed to 8 o’clock. We had to wait for 15 minutes. Usually I don’t mind waiting but this time wind blowing through the building made me a little nervous. Outside it started to rain quite heavily before we settled all the matters but we managed to get to our car in a short window, which opened between two periods of rain.

After this episode we set to the road. The next stop was the doctor. The third check of my hips was waiting. But this time we didn’t go to the hospital where my first check took place. We went to another doctor where I have also already been. It was about a month ago and the unpleasant doctor with cold hands had my medical record ready before I even entered the office.

This time I was old enough to receive my first dose of X-rays. At first we waited in the waiting room of that unpleasant doctor. A nurse came out (different than last time) and sent us to the basement to X-ray office. There was a man who told my mom to undress me. My diaper had to go too. Mom got some long heavy apron to protect her from unnecessary x-rays, because she had to hold my legs in correct position. It took just a few seconds and the picture was taken. Mammy started to put my diaper and clothes on again fast but the man came out from his room to tell her there was some failure and the picture had to be taken again. Well, I didn’t mind too much, the room was comfortably warm and my diaper was gone… Mammy held my legs again and the picture was taken in a second. Good one this time. The man said she could put my things on again. But I was faster …. and wet :).

I wetted the table and my mom. Well, to be exact I wetted the long heavy apron she was wearing. Mom promptly hid her shoes so it all went to the floor. I have to stress that she had warned the guy that I sometimes did such things. Therefore when he saw what happened he just gave my mom without word some tissues to dry my and than he cleaned the mess around himself laughing out. He said he had not had such patient yet and that I was a real joker :).

We took the roentgen picture and went back to the waiting room upstairs. This time there was another doctor, much younger and more kind. Unlike the other doctor this one checked me really carefully. He even took off my socks to see my feet. Than he checked the hips, but mammy told him what happened so he took off my diaper for just a little while. You could hear his laughter to the waiting room when mom explained what happened just a few minutes before. Well, I didn’t have any ammunition left anyway :). The doctor said my hips were all right and that I didn’t have to visit them again.

This could be the end of my day today but there is one more story I would like to give you. I know it just out of hearing; I was present but asleep.

After we visited the doctor, we had to go shopping too. Mum didn’t take too much food but she had to get me some diapers. Everything went quite well until we got to the cash desks. Only three of ten cash desks were on and there were long queues at each of them. We had already been waiting for about ten minutes when some older woman with very self-confident look in her face started to jump the queue – right in front of us. There were about ten other people behind us so mom very politely told her that the queue went on behind us between the two long refrigerators. It was like pricking into the wasps' nest. That woman started to shout at my mom that she was old and so she had the right … she almost hit my mom with the walking stick. She also screamed she would miss the bus if she went to the end of the queue etc. Mom just told her, that she is sorry but the other people also have to be somewhere – hurry to work, to the doctor or are just tired and need to go home… but if she was at least little polite and just simply asked her to let her go first because of the bus, she would let her go without any word. To be at least little polite makes wonders but nobody likes to be shouted at for no reason. That women started the laments again, told my mom to shut up etc. Nevertheless she backed out and pushed her cart behind us. The lady standing behind us didn’t have the guts to act as my mom did so she let the crazy woman to get ahead of her.

There was quite chaos because of the woman. A new queue started to create behind her so in a minute there were two long queues standing by one cash desk. But we got out of the store fast. When we drove away mammy saw the old hag sitting on the bus stop with another woman chatting happily. She didn’t seem like running to catch the bus.

My first day without parents

The beginning of last Saturday was very promising. I woke up as usually at six am and it didn’t take me too long to wake mammy to change my diaper and get me something to eat. After breakfast I supposed we would go back to bedroom so I could wake also daddy and mammy could go back to sleep immediately. Well, my dad can sleep over my jabbering but not too long :).

Although we went back to the bedroom as usually, mammy surprised me. Normally she falls back asleep in five minutes after she gets to bed but this time, she stood awake. We all – including the dog - were out of bed again before seven. I started to smell some adventure.

On the table in the kitchen there were four bags (three of those contented my stuff) and some work wear (not for me, luckily). After my parents had breakfast, daddy took Aja for a walk and I assisted mammy with taking the things to the garage. Mammy struggled for about ten minutes with my pram before she managed to get it into the car but finally she succeeded. The back door was not closed completely but there was only little whole. This is a clear proof of victory of spirit over substance :).

Step by step mammy filled the car with not only my pram but also all the bags, work wear, a bag with provender and finally also me in the car seat. Daddy got on and that was it. Aja had to stay at home, there was no more space for her inside and we didn’t have anything which we could have used to fix her to the roof.

I was very curious where we were going and what we were going to do there but my parents spoiled it all. We just got to grandparents and most of the stuff (including my pram) was unloaded. I was given to my granny and the parents have left me without looking back to enjoy the fun alone.

I spent the whole day alone at my grandparents. I behaved very well because I thought it was not my grandparents’ fault I was left behind so early at my age. It was my first day without parents. It was such a nice but still day.

Mammy and daddy returned late the afternoon. Mother was full of stains (looked like a Dalmatian I see often in one garden when we go for a walk) and I could smell used-up oil. Daddy, on the contrary, looked unmarked with work. But it was just the first sight. He had his dungarees with him and when I checked it carefully, I could see green color of freshly cut grass.

They re-loaded quickly all the stuff – me included – to the car and we speeded home. Daddy was driving in the morning and my mammy kept talking to his driving. Well, he is used to cutting curves so of course the almost closed door of the boot opened before we came to grandparents’ house and he had to stop and close it again. But it was a nice change for me because I usually go by car with mammy driving. This time, mammy drove back. She, on the contrary drove very carefully, almost too slowly I would say but the back door opened in a few minutes, much earlier than in the morning. Of course daddy commented upon in. I said to myself I should take revenge for being left by my mother for the whole day and as I cannot talk yet, I at least let slip some of my afternoon snack. I do this all the time, lying in bed, being carried around or sitting in my car seat but this time, I chose the right moment and the association was clear :).

But otherwise I was quite sad. I could have enjoyed so much fun with them, stick my hands to oil and put it all over myself and my mammy, get in the way to daddy mowing and spread grass all over the place. Instead I spent a day smiling at my grandparents. It was not bad, they took very good care of me, but immediately when I grow up, I won’t let my parents leave me like this. I will definitely go with them and enjoy the fun.

My dad likes passwords

My dad really likes passwords. He has them everywhere. I somehow cannot understand the complicated system of creating the passwords so I am afraid I will newer be able to hack his computer. That is sad :(

On the other hand, it has also some positives. Not so long ago my mammy and I were having lots of fun thanks to one of dad’s passwords. We were sitting in the “work” room and I was just having my dinner. Dad was sitting by his computer and had some very strange expression in his face. He was also using that strange “computer” language he usually uses when the work does not go so well. That was all just because he was trying to open some file he had locked with a very complicate password a few days before.

My dad is a real genius in making up passwords. He is so good, that sometimes he cannot puzzle it himself. And so he was sitting in the work room and didn’t feel happy. My mam was laughing. You know, she has her own experience with passwords. Luckily, her bank supports unblocking the account on the phone when you block it with a wrong combination :)

I was already well fed and was just getting ready to go to bed and my dad was still sitting in the work room and trying to crack the top secret code. Fruitless effort, I must say…

Following two days I didn’t get to see daddy too much. He spent lots of time in the workroom and I think he didn’t get much sleep those days. I just caught sight of him during lunch. Aja was very sad, sitting under the hanger where here leash is kept. She loves being walked by dad, because he takes her to some splendid places. With mammy she just gets to walk around the town where we can go with the pram. Bud daddy didn’t see it.

Finally the third day daddy succeeded. Mammy and I were already almost asleep – I in my crib and mammy over some book - as usually. Daddy entered the bedroom with a dance step and crow so Aja even raised her head. Daddy was calling: “I got it… I got it!”

The battle was won, my dad was the winner… but… one won battle does not mean a victorious war. Look at Napoleon… he was so happy after the battle of Austerlitz… I think daddy will need that file again soon :)))

My dragon

Today, I learnt a new prima trick. I was practicing with my hands for so long, that I managed to grasp with both hands one of the toys hanging above me ��� a little zebra. I held it for a leg and kept pulling it a little. Mam was watching it for a while with amusement but than she freed the poor animal because she was worried that I would tear the leg off. However the zebra hangs in the kitchen and I play with it every time when mummy prepares my food or cooks for her and dad so I suppose there will be lots of opportunities to keep practicing it later.

To not forget my newly gained skill, I tried it also on a rattle, which my aunt Jarka brought to me ��� it has a shape of little dragon, it is green, and I hadn���t spent much time playing with it yet. But today it came in handy. I wrapped my little fingers around one side and crabbed it tight. Than I shot my arm up ��� and I hit my eye��� It hurt a lot so of course I started to cry. I stopped in a minute or two and than mammy showed me, how to hold it right. So I grabbed the dragon once more and started to move it up and down. That was much better. Sometimes, it fell down ��� usually on my belly, but mammy helped me to get it back. It took some time till I lost my interest and focused on the linen I have under my head.

Oh.. and I almost forgot��� hands are also great to put in your mouth, chew on them and slobber on them. Much better than some dummy��� but I have already told you before, haven���t I?

Visiting day

Recently I am too busy. I don’t event manage to keep my blog up to date. The thing is, I have to keep a watch of my parents. Sometimes it is quite hard work to do. I cannot understand how the guardian angels manage their work.

Look for example at the last weekend. I was very busy. At first I had to do the building supervision. The cottage and my grandparents’ garden was being painted. Grandma and grandpa had done most of the work but the most dangerous parts had to be left for my dad so he was balancing on high ladder. It was something! Nevertheless, daddy was quite careful so I am not an orphan yet.

I was even more worried about my mom. To be precise - about her fingers. She was cutting the hedge using the big electric cutter. Once she had a narrow squeak but luckily it all ended well. At the end she even cut the hedge also at the neighbors’. I am talking of the neighbors who are not living there for more than a year. Mom wanted to cut our hedge on the top from their side as it was not possible to do it at our side. The hedge was so overgrown there that first she had to cut it all from the side. Except a few mosquito bites and some nettle stings she came back all right.

I have to keep watch of Aja as well. On the walks she is quite independent sometimes and she nozzles where she should not to. The other day we went for shopping. Well, mom did the shopping and Aja and I were waiting for her in front of the shop. On our way back we took the longer journey so Aja had her fun too. We had to pass some sports areal. The gates are opened all day long and there were notices by every gate that “It is not allowed to bring the dog here”. We always just walk around and pass the sports areal. Although my parents always clean after Aja, they don’t want to bother with somebody who would be angry with them.

However, this time Aja put her head behind the gate. I guess there had been some other dog there before her and she just wanted to read the messages. But as soon as she put her head behind the gate, we could hear some vituperation. I didn’t really understand much of it. Some older gentleman was using the strange language my father usually uses when he is sitting by the computer and something goes wrong. Mom always tells me not to listen to it because this language is not suitable for children. I suppose it must be some very hard computer language. So far I have always forgotten most of what I had heard. I will have to pay more attention to it next time.

That man kept pointing out the notice. Aja, as soon as she heard him, took her head out from behind the gate and came back to us to the pavement. Mom tried to explain him that Aja was a very cleaver dog but although there was a dog (in one of the children stories) called Maxi-dog Fik, who could read and play chess, Aja still didn’t know what the letters on the notice ment. Unfortunately he didn’t understand it and kept using that strange language… so we just went on.

Aja still didn’t have enough and not far away from our house she went alone for a visit. A few months ago, I was still in my mom’s belly, Aja saw a handsome golden retriever – Monty. They kept running along the fence of his house for a while and Monty was whining so much, that his “daddy” looked out of the window and invited mom and Aja to their garden so the two dogs could run together. Aja liked this visit a lot. She came home dirty like a little pig and I guess she remembered this visit well. Every time we passed this fence, she sniffed it carefully. This time the gate was opened and Aja immediately went in. Mom had to park my pram on the pavement and than go for her. Monty was sitting behind the entrance door. As the door was partly glassed I could see Monty sitting behind the door at home whining sadly. Mom had to try hard to get Aja out of there. Aja didn’t want to go at all but at the end the force won :).

Otherwise Aja is a quite good dog. As far as she is not pretending to be a gardener (she likes to prepare holes to plant new bushes but my parents don’t really understand her passion for gardening) she keeps lying at home and sleeping. She loves to be on the garden or on the balcony and watch the world too. Sometimes she barks a little or she comes to lick my legs when there is a chance… and of course she guards our home. I am looking forward to running and playing with her when I am older. We will for sure enjoy being naughty :) together.

When I almost starved to death

Imagine that you are a small vulnerable baby completely depending on if (and how) your parents take care for you. You will have to simply trust your parents completely. And that is what I do.

Mommy takes usually very good care to make sure I am clean, dry, and well fed. Only from time to time I must encourage her a little with my strong voice (that is where the name of my blog comes from:)). I don’t know if this helps her to be faster but it for sure does not let her forget me. Especially at night, when she is very sleepy, this way I make sure she would not fall back asleep leaning on the kitchen table.

But tonight I had a narrow squeak. I woke up as usually around 1 A.M. and as I had a good sleep before I told myself I could spare mom a little. I gave her whole 10 minutes before turned my silent whining into loud cry. In those ten minutes mom managed to get out of bed and lurched to the kitchen without turning the light on. I think she does not turn the light on because she knows it is worthless as her eyes stay tightly closed anyway.

It all went as usually up to the moment when mom turned the electric kettle on. The orange light indicating that the kettle is on and the food will come soon didn’t appear. That woke mom a little more and she tried to turn on the light in the kitchen. But nothing happened! Neither the light not cooker worked (what a surprise as the cooker is also electric).

So mom took a torch and went to have a look at fuses. Everything was all right but still she turned them off and on again. But this didn’t help. All around in the street the street lights were on, which was for sure suspicious. Next door there is an empty house. Nobody has been living there for longer than a year and sometimes you can hear some strange noises from there. What if somebody turned the main interrupter, which is outside the house, to make mammy and daddy to bring them out? Mammy took some fire hook as a weapon with her and went to have a look at the main interrupter. But that one was all right too.

She arrived back to the kitchen completely awoken. I don’t have to stress that I kept supporting her very loud all that time. Dad was lucky because he slept upstairs and mom didn’t want to wake him as he had long and hard day in front of him. But what to do with me? I have to eat, right? Uaaa, Uaaaa, I am hungry!

Well, mom decided to use good old fire. She went to look for some tea candles and tea lamp. Water for my food had already been boiled the day before and mom just needed to warm it. But than the refrigerator started to growl. It was strange. Mom also realized that when she got up she had a look at the alarm-clock which was on and which needed the electricity as well. So she went to try the lights outside the kitchen and it worked. Hurrah! She quickly warmed the water in the dinning room, made my food and came to rescue me. Tears big like peas were running down my face (when I cry long enough I already have tears) and my face was whole red. I almost started to fear I might die! I was so tired from this adventure, that I fell asleep again and didn’t even finish my food. I had to make up for it at half past four :).

Today in the morning before daddy left mom told him about the night horror. Daddy thought about it for a minute and than, as mom the night before, went to have a look at the fusses and main interrupter. He was more successful and when he “restarted” the main interrupter everything was all right again and working. When he was leaving I told myself that I could stay at rest – I was not going to starve to death today.

P.S. Daddy has just glimpsed over moms shoulder and read the title of this article – and he started to laugh. He said that mom would have lots to explain when the social-service workers ring our bell.

Some pictures

Oh my dummy, where would I be without it?...

That is when I was still very young

:-)

It is not easy to keep the head up

That is when my mom still had no idea what to expect

Me and my "sister" Aja

Mammy likes to do the washing

My mammy likes to do the washing. Every now and than she pushes the laundry to the washing machine and it seems she goes especially after my things. Well, I said to myself that I would do her a favor than – I will make her as much laundry as possible.

I learned a new thing. It can be used in many varieties but the best moment is when I am completely naked. Than the effect is the best.

I wait till she puts my clothes off and turns away to get a new diaper. That is the best moment to wet my pants except the pants are not there :). Actually I am quite good at wetting myself, all clothes (all she has just taken off me and stuff she meant to put on me to go to bed), bed sheets and clean diapers in the nearest area and also at least carpet or a curious dog if possible. Once I managed to pee on a wall which was at least one and half metes distant. I am simply very skilful :)

May 22 - Hips scan

Today I had my hips scanned. Of course I took mammy with me (somebody had to push my terribly heavy pram:)). I received an invitation from our hospital for 12:15pm but we left home much earlier. Mammy was not sure where the scan is.

At first I thought it was not necessary to go so early but at the end I had to admit mammy really knew what she was doing. Thanks to the “perfect” maps in the areal of the hospital I took a sightseeing tour. This tour had only one fault – I didn’t get to see much, because the view was partly blocked with plastic cover mammy uses over the pram when it rains.

When we finally arrived, there had already been quite a lot of people waiting and many other came after us. In a minute or two a nurse came and requested “orthopedical enclosure” (to wit a sheet of paper with results from the first hip scan from maternity hospital). Well, I do not have to stress there was not a word about it in the invitation, right? But luckily my mom always takes all papers with her so contrary to some of the other mothers she didn’t have to argue with the nurse.

On the way to the hospital, mom was thinking that I had not made anything to her for at least two days. She was naive enough to share her thoughts with me so I said to myself I should please her. She realized she should rather be silent in a moment when she took me out of the pram in the hospital and started to “unpack” me from the overalls in which I look like an astronaut.

She could feel some wet maps under my right shoulder and started to make wry faces. I can proudly say I am really skillful and when I try hard I can wet myself even through pampers. Well on the other hand I have to admit she took it quite well. She smashed through the crowds to the changing tables and took out not only dry diaper but also dry clothes.

That surprised me a little but I am not one of those who give up too easily. When she started to change me the diaper I focused my attention on my bladder. To confuse her, I made innocent smile on my face. Mother is now much more vigilant and does not leave me without a diaper for a second so I had to use a little trick. I violently shot up my legs and immediately put them back and started to move. For a split second the space opened and I hit the target with well aimed shot. This way I got rid of the dry shirt and jumper which mom wanted to put on me, poor thing. Her sour face turned in sort of desperate; and I think a little sad too.

At that moment a nurse called us in. She said to leave me just in shirt and diaper. Mammy quickly put me on the dry diaper and put me into jumper without shirt. The doctor checked my hips and after the half hour waiting we were out in two minutes.

Only after this I realized that I overshot a little. Mom left me in the wet jumper and all she did was she put a piece of cloth which she uses to wipe my wet mouth under the wet area of my jumper. It stopped to chill me but I wasn’t much comfortable. This made me a bit angry and I definitely had to express my opinion so I spited up the dummy and started to cry. Mom put me into the overalls and we left for home. I managed to get rid of the spare dummy too so we were quite a merry and loud fleet.
Well, when I take a think I have to admit it was a Pyrrhic victory. On the other side I still spared her. Next to my pram there was a guy parked who sweetened it to his mother much better (you could smell him all over the hall – ugh!). This I left for home :)

First try to smile

On Monday I learned a great new thing. I know how to completely disarm my mam. I learnt to smile. I am not talking of some mimic nerve move as I did by that time. I mean to really smile; to widen the corners of your mouth and to add some happy shout.

She can be very tired and mad but all I need to do is to use some mimic muscles in my face and she melts like ice. At first it was just very weak try but I kept practicing – especially when she was not looking. The next day I used it in full range when daddy was there too. By the way – when talking about smiles, I should also mention the dimples on my cheeks; I think I am taking it after my mother. One day girls will be surprised when I give them my wonderful smile… :-)

So I was born

I was born one nice April evening. The whole day sun was shining… just much later after I have already arrived it started to rain.
I have to admit, that I was not very keen on being born even though it was such a lovely day. I felt very comfortable in my mam’s belly. Well, was I missing anything there? I don’t think so. But I became afraid of doctors. Those impatient doctors tried to frighten my mam that if I would not be born by the end of the week, they would put us into a hospital and that they would get light on me. They might be even able to use force to get my out! I had to avoid such thing and so I simply turned in on my own.

I let my mam to enjoy the nice day, go shopping and go for a walk with dad. In the afternoon she also managed to weed out some flower beds and have an afternoon coffee and some cookies with dad. And than we set out to the hospital to have it done as fast as possible.

A few days later we were at home and I started to familiarize with environment. I have one older “sister”. She is very hairy, has long ears and tail and a cold nose. I have only been able to watch her from distance so far but I have a feeling we will be great team the two of us. All I need to do for it is to grow a little and become little more movable. That is not so easy. I am happy to be able to keep my head up for a second when I am laying on my belly. I have to practice!

Besides my sister Aja I also have some relatives… and parents of course. I like them, I like them a lot. That is just to be sure – if there was anybody who would come to a conclusion that it is vice versa. I just have to keep reminding myself to them so they couldn’t forget they have me. I have been quite successful so far, I guess. But they both have been taking it easy. Although they are veeeeeeeeeeery tired none of them has collapsed yet. Not yet….

My first blog

A little ram (Aries) was born… “Shortly after coming of little Ram into your family, may be you learned that it is a nice and soft baby, which is also very lively and full of powers. Especially when the little ram is whole red screaming in the pram as for life to catch your attention. Do not be angry with him for that. He is probably just trying to tell you that he is not comfortable to be in the wet diaper. In the same strong way he will always let everybody around know his feelings and experiences and demand this way having his needs satisfied.” (From a book How to bring up children according to zodiac)… Well ... my parents will really enjoy the life with me :)

In another beautiful book a little boy says: “If you please, draw me a ram…” I for sure want to read this book when I am big. They say it is a very nice book and you can read it at any age. So far I just listened to it when I was in my mum’s belly.
But to not stray from the point… my parents have recently received many similar requests. Just nobody asked for a drawing of a little ram… they asked for photographs. So finally they decided to help me a little to create my own web pages. It is a very modern thing nowadays, isn’t it? Everybody has his own web blog, so why not me? I want to be totally in from the very beginning :-) ….